I Don’t Like Your Friends | TEDxHiltonHeadWomen

On December 1, 2018, I had the honor and the privilege of speaking to a crowded room full of amazing people from the Low Country. Hilton Head Island, SC owes me nothing! I truly learned the definition of southern hospitality.

Unfortunately, I had to hurt some feelings in the building. I delivered a powerful talk about why I simply don’t like your friends. I know I sound like someone’s mother, but maybe we should have listened to our mothers when they told us to be weary of our friends.

Of course, your knee jerk reaction is to say ”This girl doesn’t know me OR my friends so who is SHE to tell me she doesn’t like MY friends?” I got it and I can walk you through this.

My talk didnt cover or refer to actual people, physical people. It was geared toward the places where we dwell mentally; the thoughts that we share within our internal conversations with ourselves. Interestingly enough, we aren’t always the kindest or gentlest towards ourselves and we develop these “friendships” with these not so good thoughts and actions.

To find out which friends of yours I don’t like, check out the video of my talk from TEDxHiltonHeadWomen.

Thank you ALL for your support, especially those who constantly asked when the video would be published. The wait is OVER!!!

Love and Light, Fam!

Am I Doing Enough For God

I never ever post any religious pieces. I try to stay away from that kind of pressure and I try to stay out of the shadows of what my calling may or may not be.

However, I couldn't stay away from this one. I felt compelled to write on it, at full length.

Today, I saw a movie on YouTube, which I have added here for your viewing pleasure, that was very, very thought provoking. It fixed my heart in a way that I think nothing has ever done before. I am lying, there have been some very real experiences in my life that were this good, but this hasn't happened in a long time. I was completely inspired.

The movie is centered around the rapture and the scripture:

"Not everyone who says to me, 'LORD, LORD,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'LORD, LORD, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!"

Matthew 7:21-23

https://youtu.be/b2eT4j099ic

Before I watched the movie, I saw this extremely compelling scene where God had already come and the people who were left behind were shocked, hurt, confused and plain ole out of time.

My jaw was on the floor. I felt a confusion brew in my mind and my heart. When I set out to create She Lifts, I could have sworn that I was doing God's work. I thought I was doing what God wanted me to do, which was reach out to His people and give them what Gid was giving me. I literally believed that God had given me each episode for me to share.

I know, it sounds crazy. I thought, and still kind of think, that God wants me to minister to His people.

However, I never prayed over my episodes. I never prayed over my business ventures. I never thanked God for all of the insight that He had given me. I never, not once, acknowledged God in any of my episodes.

Why? I was scared. It was too much pressure. I wasn't ready for that kind of thing. I wasn't prepared for the scrutiny that would come my way.

I was afraid that I would be labeled. I was afraid that people would look at me differently. I am so imperfect. Being myself has always come naturally for me, but being one of those "God people" hasn't. I am super rough around the edges.

I was also afraid that my podcast would be "catgorized" and "inclusive" and not for all people. That it would deter people who aren't Christians to not even listen. I didn't htink that was what God wanted. I know that with bringing people to Christ, you have to meet them where they are. Evangelism and Street Ministry has always been a strength of mine and I love being out in the community and reaching the "unreachable". But with the podcast, I was so afraid of being put into a box and that box wouldn't allow me to reach the people who needed me to reach them.

But in all this fear, I lost sight of what I set out to do. I recorded an episode entitled Paralyzed By Fear and I think it's time for me to take my own advice.

I have always had this idea that the work of the church isn't always done within the walls of the church. I always believed that there had to be foot Soldiers out in the streets meeting God's people where they are and guiding them into church where they can access Him through authentic experience and employ their spiritual gifts.

Reviewing the scripture posted above, I realize that, maybe I am not doing enough for God. He requires all of me, not just the pieces I am comfortable with or the pieces that I am not afraid of, all.

I don't think I ever asked God what it is that He truly wants me to do. On the flip side, I don't think I ever actually listened to what He was trying to tell me.

I wonder now how many people are struggling with this. I wonder how many people are just screaming Jesus but not truly living for Him and then how many people want to live for Him but are afraid, like me.

This just got real interesting.

Love & Light, Fam!

...Because Breastfeeding...

I’ve read several articles regarding this photo, but I like this one the best! (shoutout to whowhatwear mag!!)

It really captures the essence of this photo and the "why" behind it as well. Rachel McAdams is my hero for this. I mean, before this photo, I sincerely thought she was an exceptional actress. She has an incredible range. Just look at her performance in "The Notebook", "Wedding Crashers" and "Mean Girls" to name a few (which also happen to be a few of my all time favorite movies). She is freaking phenomenal.

Now, about the photo.

Breastfeeding is completely natural. Anyone who tells your otherwise is a man. Sorry, not sorry. I literally felt like a cow machine (or machine cow - however you want to spin it) while I was breastfeeding. It was insane. And OH BOY was I hungry ALL THE TIME!!!

Working moms are the worst. They put their itty bitty babies in day care, for someone else to watch. And God forbid they get tired and forget to do something for the baby! The nerve of her! Doesn't she know she is a mother now?? She must be perfect AT ALL TIMES! Oh, you have the AUDACITY to breast feed in public? Oh no! Put your breast away! Cover it up! No one wants to see that!

GO. AWAY. FROM. ME. WITH. THAT!

It is an unrealistic expectation. Sure Rachel McAdams is in Versace - it's what she wore to work. Newsflash - SHE WAS AT WORK. Her job, just so happens to be EFFING fabulous! If I had a photo of me breastfeeding in my uniform (which I have done because I'm a mom), would it be any better? Because that is definitely what I wear to work... (cue the crickets) Why are people so critical of women who choose to do the absolute most natural thing for their babies which is provide them with the milk that is LEGIT genetically made for their survival and nutrition. Like your body makes this stuff JUST for the baby to nourish - at the very moment that the baby needs to be nourished.

Again, I say, breastfeeding is natural.

Shoutout to all the intelligent folks who think that this picture is sexualizing or even normalizing breastfeeding. GO. AWAY. FROM. ME. WITH. THAT. First of all (and you know nothing good comes after a Black woman's "first of all") there is NOTHING sexy about this picture. This picture shows strength. This picture shows womanhood. This picture shows working mom in Hollywood. This picture is multitasking. This picture is an ad for THIS BRA RIGHT HERE (you're welcome). In other news, her snap back is bananas, but that is a topic for another day. This picture is anything but sexualizing breastfeeding - numbskulls. This is a photo of a woman at work who has engorged breasts and needed to express (confirmed by Claire Rothstein in her inital IG post debuting this breastfeeding beauty) OAN: Please browse Claire Rothsteins IG because she is a PHENOMENAL artist!!!

I won't say it is normalizing breastfeeding, only because I can understand that the average woman doesn't look quite like this while breastfeeding in the janitor's closet at their job. However, I am 50/50 (honestly, now that I think about it) on the idea of normalization because maybe employers should realize how vital this is to the development of these little helpless creatures and that provisions MUST be made for this to happen in an environment where women feel comfortable and at ease.

So there, I changed my mind.

If you click the reference link above (I'll put it right here for you guys because, well, I am you) you can see a bunch of the responses in the comments section. I was TOTS here for the Mean Girls references. I was NOT here for any of the naysayers ESPECIALLY the women bashing breastfeeding. Take your tits someplace else [insert word for woman who hates on other women because of their ability to be women]. NO ONE CARES FOR YOUR TITS, SIS!

One last thing. Let's go back to "normal". Smooshing your breasts up in a push up bra to reveal in a low cut shirt is NOT NORMAL, nor is it fun! Contrary to popular misogynistic belief, breasts are not for enjoyment nor entertainment. Not built for speed nor comfort. Let's be honest, the best relief in the world is releasing your tits in the evening after a long day of parading your tits for the others to see (oh and taking off your wig, can't forget that one). I'm not a fan of it and I prefer to go bra-less for as long as possible as often as possible. Sorry, its natural.

So, to all of you who are OFFENDED by Rachel McAdams being a DAMN good mother because she cares enough about her newborn to pause and pump her puppies GOAWAYFROMMEISAID! And for the rest of you who are fans of Rachel McAdams and the statement that she is making, BRA-EFFING-VO!

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I would be elated if this little post could reach her so please like and share and help me reach my little goal.

Thanks guys! (this was fun)

Love & Light, Fam!