I never ever post any religious pieces. I try to stay away from that kind of pressure and I try to stay out of the shadows of what my calling may or may not be.
However, I couldn't stay away from this one. I felt compelled to write on it, at full length.
Today, I saw a movie on YouTube, which I have added here for your viewing pleasure, that was very, very thought provoking. It fixed my heart in a way that I think nothing has ever done before. I am lying, there have been some very real experiences in my life that were this good, but this hasn't happened in a long time. I was completely inspired.
The movie is centered around the rapture and the scripture:
"Not everyone who says to me, 'LORD, LORD,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'LORD, LORD, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!"
Before I watched the movie, I saw this extremely compelling scene where God had already come and the people who were left behind were shocked, hurt, confused and plain ole out of time.
My jaw was on the floor. I felt a confusion brew in my mind and my heart. When I set out to create She Lifts, I could have sworn that I was doing God's work. I thought I was doing what God wanted me to do, which was reach out to His people and give them what Gid was giving me. I literally believed that God had given me each episode for me to share.
I know, it sounds crazy. I thought, and still kind of think, that God wants me to minister to His people.
However, I never prayed over my episodes. I never prayed over my business ventures. I never thanked God for all of the insight that He had given me. I never, not once, acknowledged God in any of my episodes.
Why? I was scared. It was too much pressure. I wasn't ready for that kind of thing. I wasn't prepared for the scrutiny that would come my way.
I was afraid that I would be labeled. I was afraid that people would look at me differently. I am so imperfect. Being myself has always come naturally for me, but being one of those "God people" hasn't. I am super rough around the edges.
I was also afraid that my podcast would be "catgorized" and "inclusive" and not for all people. That it would deter people who aren't Christians to not even listen. I didn't htink that was what God wanted. I know that with bringing people to Christ, you have to meet them where they are. Evangelism and Street Ministry has always been a strength of mine and I love being out in the community and reaching the "unreachable". But with the podcast, I was so afraid of being put into a box and that box wouldn't allow me to reach the people who needed me to reach them.
But in all this fear, I lost sight of what I set out to do. I recorded an episode entitled Paralyzed By Fear and I think it's time for me to take my own advice.
I have always had this idea that the work of the church isn't always done within the walls of the church. I always believed that there had to be foot Soldiers out in the streets meeting God's people where they are and guiding them into church where they can access Him through authentic experience and employ their spiritual gifts.
Reviewing the scripture posted above, I realize that, maybe I am not doing enough for God. He requires all of me, not just the pieces I am comfortable with or the pieces that I am not afraid of, all.
I don't think I ever asked God what it is that He truly wants me to do. On the flip side, I don't think I ever actually listened to what He was trying to tell me.
I wonder now how many people are struggling with this. I wonder how many people are just screaming Jesus but not truly living for Him and then how many people want to live for Him but are afraid, like me.
This just got real interesting.
Love & Light, Fam!